(by Nuts & Gnarly)

aw omG

I’ve got a great journey ahead of me, Christ holding my hand. No more tears anymore, I am ready to stand.

Letting out all that I can’t say to him on tumblr. This place is so therapeutic.

If I’m being completely honest with myself, this pain hurts more than I could have ever imagined. Just sitting here in my bed thinking of you literally makes my head spin and it won’t stop. My head hurts from the thoughts of you and what we’ve been through, it couldn’t be any worse. Clutching on to the bear you gave me so tightly…the one you made smell like you with your cologne…but now it just smells like me. I’ve tried to find that smell on it but it’s gone and that breaks my heart. I can’t believe all that has just happened between us and the fact that you are gone, just like that. Gone to travel the country and make a difference in young kids’ lives for all of summer. Then a week before you get back I’ll be gone. Off to college in a whole other town. Not even being sure of the next time I’ll see you is the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. Its only been a day and I already miss you…but I’m trying here. Trying to be strong for you.

If a year ago someone would have asked me where I thought I would be around this time in my life, I would have never imagined myself anywhere close to this situation. It’s crazy where life takes you but I have Jesus to get me through each and every day of it.